How to logically Deal With illogical People

Wide Impact
By Dr. Salam Slim

During an interesting discussion with a friend of mine, we roofed to the issue of applying logic to illogical people, and why using logic to convince others fail most of the time, we tried to figure out all the necessary factors of logic that makes it easy for people from all backgrounds to follow along. We both agreed that having a thorough and logical disagreement remains unclear to many.

We all have encountered at some point in our life’s illogical people, it might be a family member, a coworker, a client or even a friend. Even those whom we know to be absolutely logical most of the time might “lose it” when something within them activates.

Regardless of your position, your organization, or the sector in which you operate, you must be able to convince and influence others in order to maintains, builds relationships and strengthens connections.

Illogical behavior is one of the most difficult to manage. When someone is illogical, they do not listen to logic, reason, or even common sense. illogical individual may be unpredictable. The most difficult problem we face when confronting an illogical individual is the meaning they give to a situation or content differs from ours. Their meaning may not even be correct, giving them a far different viewpoint from ours. illogical People tends to not listen to reason or sensible explanations

When it comes to the art and science of persuading others, what works best Logic, Emotion or Both?

In this respect, one study found that 90% of choices are made primarily on emotion, and that individuals then use logic to explain their conclusion.

Other research indicates that emotions are obviously more powerful than logic.

Another research, claims that in order to convince people, you need both logic and emotion, but not at the same time. 

Regardless of research, most of us have been taught since childhood to construct a logical argument or logical persuading based on logic and supporting evidence.

At work, we refer to this as “the business case”, in order to convince people, we build a case that is persuasive and appealing to the need of others, all based on objective information.

In his interesting phycology book “Talking to Crazy: How to Deal with the Irrational and Impossible People in Your Life” The psychiatrist and communication expert Mark Goulston, MD recommends the following When dealing with irrational individuals: listen to them, then let them vent, attempt to understand their point of view, but do not consent to anything unacceptable. His argument is that most individuals who are just having a terrible day or going through other unpleasant life factors, will react to this, and eventually express regret for their irrational conduct, and begin behaving logically.

When dealing with illogical individuals, here’s some tips that’s worked well for me. 

  • Most of them don’t realize they’re illogical; they feel they’re completely sensible and you’re the illogical! Irrationality is mostly about your point of view.  It’s possible that they’re replying from a context that is different from yours and that you don’t recognize the reliability of their statements. So first and foremost, keep in mind that you might not have all the facts in this context and that the other person might know things you don’t, and you may understand their seeming irrationality better if you knew more about their contexts.
  • Try to slow down. You can’t expect illogical behavior to react to reasoning or correction. I often advise changing the environment of the communication or talk that calm the waters instead of fanning the flame. One effective approach is to treat the illogical person like a teenager who has no idea what’s going on.
  • Relax Don’t be alarmed. Maintain your composure. Getting agitated merely worsens the problem and provokes the unreasonable individual.
  • Change the topic to something less controversial.  You don’t want any of your comments to be misconstrued. The overarching purpose of this stage is to create some conversational space between the argumentative subject and you. 
  • Return to the problematic topic. Try to figure out whether their seeming illogical was caused by a misunderstanding. If it is, make an effort to clear things up. The more time you spend chatting with somebody, the higher your chances of learning how their mind operates in general. You’ll have a higher chance of communicating what you need them to grasp in a way they’ll understand and enjoy if you do.
  • Understand that emotions are never logical. Our emotional reactions are triggered when we encounter with disagreement, or contrasts between our beliefs and reality. Emotions are always irrational. Irrationality is the result of a big conflict in our ideas that the mind is unable to handle.

Dale Carnegie once said, “When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but creatures of emotion.” I think it would be logical to pay attention to what he said.

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